3/6 - Personal - On debates with Christian friends(?)

Recently I got into a fight with a Christian friend, on a public forum on the internet. I would say debate, but it got personal really quick. I have had feelings that her brand of Christianity could be hurtful and unloving at times, and something that she said really set me off this time. However, instead of responding in anger, I decided to try and provide a gentle rebuke through a questions, that was really more to understand than anything. The topic? She was arguing that it is worthless to try and debate theology or the bible with someone who disagrees with you. I asked if she really thought that this was worthless as it could be an opportunity to minister to others. Unfortunately this got her very angry, again on a public internet forum. Thus, many angry long rants were posted about my question, and though I tried to back up my reasoning, more than anything I was just trying to apologize over and over.

This has been a very difficult thing for me. I just don't know how to be most like Christ here. On one hand, I want to show her love and forgiveness, but it is always taken the wrong way and as an affront. On the other hand, I want to be able to provide accountability and have good honest discourse about things we may disagree on. Unfortunately, it always seems to be the wrong way to do things.

I don't know what Jesus would do here. He rebukes those who don't show loves, so he might have done that. But overall, he loves and forgives. I should try to do that.